While I understand the desire to respond sharply to a player who’s being aggressive or disrespectful, it’s important to balance assertiveness with respect and sportsmanship.

Hurtful comments can escalate conflicts and may lead to negative consequences for everyone involved.

Instead, I encourage focusing on responses that assert your position without resorting to personal attacks.

Here’s a list of 30 responses designed to be firm and assertive without being needlessly hurtful:

1. “Your attitude is more of a problem than your gameplay.”

Story: A player is being disruptive or toxic in-game.
When to use: When you want to highlight their negative behavior rather than their skills.
When not to use: If they’re genuinely trying to improve.
Example: “Your attitude is more of a problem than your gameplay.”

2. “I’m here to play, not to deal with your nonsense.”

Story: Someone is constantly derailing the game with negativity.
When to use: When you need to refocus the game.
When not to use: If the player is just making a single comment.
Example: “I’m here to play, not to deal with your nonsense.”

3. “Maybe if you focused on the game instead of trash-talking, you’d do better.”

Story: A player is not performing well while engaging in negative talk.
When to use: When you want to redirect their focus.
When not to use: If they’re actually contributing positively.
Example: “Maybe if you focused on the game instead of trash-talking, you’d do better.”

4. “I didn’t realize we were playing a game of who can be the biggest jerk.”

Story: The player is being exceptionally rude.
When to use: When you want to call out their behavior.
When not to use: If you’re also frustrated and might escalate the situation.
Example: “I didn’t realize we were playing a game of who can be the biggest jerk.”

5. “Your gameplay speaks for itself, no need for extra commentary.”

Story: A player is bragging about their skills but not performing well.
When to use: When you want to let their actions, rather than words, define them.
When not to use: If they’re genuinely trying to improve.
Example: “Your gameplay speaks for itself, no need for extra commentary.”

6. “I’d rather lose gracefully than win with your kind of attitude.”

Story: A player is toxic and making the game unpleasant.
When to use: When you want to emphasize sportsmanship.
When not to use: If you’re also getting caught up in the negativity.
Example: “I’d rather lose gracefully than win with your kind of attitude.”

7. “If you spent less time criticizing others and more time practicing, you’d be a better player.”

Story: Someone is focused on criticizing instead of improving.
When to use: When you want to point out their misplaced focus.
When not to use: If they’re genuinely trying to help.
Example: “If you spent less time criticizing others and more time practicing, you’d be a better player.”

8. “I’m here to enjoy the game, not to listen to your whining.”

Story: A player is constantly complaining during the game.
When to use: When you want to redirect the focus to the gameplay.
When not to use: If they’re offering constructive feedback.
Example: “I’m here to enjoy the game, not to listen to your whining.”

9. “Your comments are as useful as a broken joystick.”

Story: The player’s comments are irrelevant or unhelpful.
When to use: When you want to dismiss their unconstructive input.
When not to use: If they’re trying to offer useful advice.
Example: “Your comments are as useful as a broken joystick.”

10. “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”

Story: A player is not contributing positively to the game.
When to use: When you want to emphasize the need for constructive behavior.
When not to use: If they’re making an effort to be helpful.
Example: “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”

11. “Your negativity isn’t going to make you any better at the game.”

Story: The player is being negative and unproductive.
When to use: When you want to highlight the futility of their behavior.
When not to use: If you’re also feeling negative.
Example: “Your negativity isn’t going to make you any better at the game.”

12. “If you’re here to be a bully, you can leave.”

Story: The player is being aggressive or bullying others.
When to use: When you want to set clear boundaries.
When not to use: If the player’s comments are mild or playful.
Example: “If you’re here to be a bully, you can leave.”

13. “I’d appreciate it if you could keep your toxicity to yourself.”

Story: The player is spreading negativity.
When to use: When you want to request a change in their behavior.
When not to use: If they’re not being overtly toxic.
Example: “I’d appreciate it if you could keep your toxicity to yourself.”

14. “It’s a game, not a stage for your ego.”

Story: A player is being excessively arrogant.
When to use: When you want to call out their inflated sense of self-importance.
When not to use: If they’re simply enthusiastic about their skills.
Example: “It’s a game, not a stage for your ego.”

15. “Your gameplay might be impressive if you spent less time talking.”

Story: A player is talking a lot but not performing well.
When to use: When you want to point out their lack of focus.
When not to use: If they’re trying to be supportive or helpful.
Example: “Your gameplay might be impressive if you spent less time talking.”

16. “I’m more interested in playing than in hearing your complaints.”

Story: The player is focusing on complaining rather than playing.
When to use: When you want to redirect their focus to the game.
When not to use: If you’re also making complaints.
Example: “I’m more interested in playing than in hearing your complaints.”

17. “Do you always have to be so unpleasant?”

Story: The player’s demeanor is consistently negative.
When to use: When you want to address their overall attitude.
When not to use: If their behavior is a one-time occurrence.
Example: “Do you always have to be so unpleasant?”

18. “You’re not impressing anyone with that attitude.”

Story: A player is being arrogant or condescending.
When to use: When you want to highlight that their attitude is not appreciated.
When not to use: If they’re genuinely skilled and humble.
Example: “You’re not impressing anyone with that attitude.”

19. “Your lack of skill is only overshadowed by your big mouth.”

Story: A player is talking big but not performing well.
When to use: When you want to emphasize the gap between their words and actions.
When not to use: If you’re also struggling with the game.
Example: “Your lack of skill is only overshadowed by your big mouth.”

20. “Maybe if you were better, you wouldn’t need to insult others.”

Story: The player is insulting others to compensate for their own shortcomings.
When to use: When you want to call out their insecurities.
When not to use: If they’re not being overly critical.
Example: “Maybe if you were better, you wouldn’t need to insult others.”

21. “It’s amazing how you’re always the loudest when you’re losing.”

Story: A player is vocal only when things aren’t going their way.
When to use: When you want to point out their selective behavior.
When not to use: If they’re generally supportive.
Example: “It’s amazing how you’re always the loudest when you’re losing.”

22. “You should try focusing on improving instead of putting others down.”

Story: A player is more focused on criticizing than improving their own skills.
When to use: When you want to suggest a better use of their time.
When not to use: If they’re genuinely trying to be helpful.
Example: “You should try focusing on improving instead of putting others down.”

23. “Your insults are as weak as your gameplay.”

Story: A player’s insults are both ineffective and unearned.
When to use: When you want to dismiss their comments.
When not to use: If you’re also struggling in the game.
Example: “Your insults are as weak as your gameplay.”

24. “The only thing you’re good at is running your mouth.”

Story: A player is talking a lot but not contributing positively.
When to use: When you want to highlight their lack of constructive input.
When not to use: If they’re genuinely trying to be helpful.
Example: “The only thing you’re good at is running your mouth.”

25. “I’d rather lose with dignity than win with you.”

Story: A player’s behavior makes victory less enjoyable.
When to use: When you want to emphasize the importance of sportsmanship.
When not to use: If the player’s behavior is a minor issue.
Example: “I’d rather lose with dignity than win with you.”

26. “You’re not exactly making a case for yourself with that attitude.”

Story: The player’s behavior is negatively impacting their reputation.
When to use: When you want to address their impact on their image.
When not to use: If they’re generally positive.
Example: “You’re not exactly making a case for yourself with that attitude.”

27. “Maybe try showing respect instead of trying to belittle others.”

Story: A player is belittling others to elevate themselves.
When to use: When you want to suggest a more respectful approach.
When not to use: If they’re not being particularly disrespectful.
Example: “Maybe try showing respect instead of trying to belittle others.”

28. “Your skill doesn’t justify your attitude.”

Story: The player is skilled but has a poor attitude.
When to use: When you want to point out that skill doesn’t excuse behavior.
When not to use: If their behavior is generally good.
Example: “Your skill doesn’t justify your attitude.”

29. “You might want to work on your gameplay instead of focusing on others.”

Story: A player is criticizing others while their own performance is lacking.
When to use: When you want to redirect their focus to self-improvement.
When not to use: If they’re making constructive feedback.
Example: “You might want to work on your gameplay instead of focusing on others.”

30. “Complaining won’t change the outcome; try improving instead.”

Story: The player is complaining rather than working on their skills.
When to use: When you want to encourage them to focus on self-improvement.
When not to use: If their complaints are justified or constructive.
Example: “Complaining won’t change the outcome; try improving instead.”