Starting a conversation via DMs can be an exciting way to connect, but it’s essential to approach it thoughtfully to avoid coming off as intrusive or creepy.

Drawing from personal experiences and best practices, here are some guidelines to help you make a friendly, genuine, and respectful introduction.

---

How To Slide Into DMs Without Coming Off As A Creep

1. Start with a Genuine Compliment

Story: Compliment something specific about their profile or posts.
When to use: When you want to start the conversation on a positive note.
When not to use: If your compliment is too generic or superficial.
Example: “I saw your post about hiking in the Rockies. Your photos are amazing! What trail did you enjoy the most?”

2. Mention Common Interests

Story: Reference shared hobbies or interests to build a connection.
When to use: When you have something in common with them.
When not to use: If your interests don’t align with theirs.
Example: “I noticed we both love cooking. Have you tried making homemade pasta before?”

3. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Story: Engage them with questions that invite detailed responses.
When to use: When you want to start a conversation that feels natural.
When not to use: If your questions are too personal or invasive.
Example: “What’s your favorite book you’ve read recently? I’m looking for new recommendations!”

4. Keep It Light and Casual

Story: Avoid diving into heavy topics right away.
When to use: When you want to keep the conversation friendly and easygoing.
When not to use: If the context of the conversation warrants a more serious approach.
Example: “Hey! I noticed you’re into jazz music. Got any favorite artists I should check out?”

5. Respect Their Space

Story: If they don’t respond immediately, don’t send multiple follow-ups.
When to use: When you want to show respect for their time and space.
When not to use: If you’re unsure about their level of engagement.
Example: “No worries if you’re busy. Just wanted to say hi and hope you’re having a great day!”

6. Be Authentic and Honest

Story: Share genuine thoughts and avoid using pickup lines.
When to use: When you want to present yourself as sincere.
When not to use: If you’re tempted to use rehearsed or insincere lines.
Example: “Hi! I really enjoyed your post about traveling. I’d love to hear more about your experiences!”

7. Avoid Overly Flattering Comments

Story: Compliment them without exaggeration.
When to use: When you want to keep compliments genuine.
When not to use: If you’re tempted to go overboard.
Example: “I really liked your recent art project. It’s impressive how you capture details!”

8. Show Interest in Their Work or Hobbies

Story: Reference something they’ve posted or shared.
When to use: When you want to show you’ve done your homework.
When not to use: If you don’t genuinely care about their interests.
Example: “Your blog post on sustainable living was really insightful. How do you stay motivated to make eco-friendly choices?”

9. Keep the First Message Short and Sweet

Story: Avoid overwhelming them with long messages.
When to use: When you want to make a brief yet engaging introduction.
When not to use: If you have a lot to say and it’s relevant.
Example: “Hi there! I’m really into vintage fashion too. What’s your favorite era for style?”

10. Respect Boundaries and Signals

Story: If they express disinterest, gracefully exit the conversation.
When to use: When you want to be mindful of their comfort level.
When not to use: If they’re actively engaging with you.
Example: “If you’re not interested, no worries at all. Just wanted to reach out and say hello!”

11. Personalize Your Approach

Story: Tailor your message to reflect something unique about them.
When to use: When you want to make a personalized impression.
When not to use: If you’re using a generic template.
Example: “I saw your post about the new cafe in town. I’ve been wanting to check it out too. How was it?”

12. Avoid Sensitive Topics

Story: Stay clear of controversial or personal subjects.
When to use: When you want to keep the conversation safe and respectful.
When not to use: If you’re unsure of their comfort with sensitive topics.
Example: “I’d love to hear more about your recent hiking trip. What was the highlight of the journey?”

13. Be Mindful of Timing

Story: Consider when you’re sending the message.
When to use: When you want to ensure your message is well-timed.
When not to use: If you’re messaging at odd hours.
Example: “Hey! I just saw your post about the concert last night. It looked like a blast!”

14. Show Appreciation for Their Content

Story: Acknowledge their posts or achievements.
When to use: When you want to start on a positive note.
When not to use: If you’re not genuinely interested in their content.
Example: “I loved your recent photo series. Your eye for detail is incredible!”

15. Avoid Being Pushy

Story: Don’t insist on a response or meeting.
When to use: When you want to be respectful of their pace.
When not to use: If you’re eager to push for a quicker reply.
Example: “I understand you’re busy. Just wanted to say hi and see how you’re doing!”

16. Be Clear About Your Intentions

Story: State your purpose without being overly forward.
When to use: When you want to set a clear and respectful tone.
When not to use: If you’re unsure of your intentions.
Example: “Hi! I noticed we share a love for indie films. I’d love to discuss some recommendations with you!”

17. Use Humor to Break the Ice

Story: Incorporate light humor to make the conversation enjoyable.
When to use: When you want to add a fun element.
When not to use: If humor might be misinterpreted.
Example: “Hi! I promise I’m not a robot, just someone who really appreciates your taste in music!”

18. Be Respectful of Their Privacy

Story: Don’t pry into their personal life right away.
When to use: When you want to show respect for their personal boundaries.
When not to use: If you’re tempted to ask overly personal questions.
Example: “I’d love to hear more about your interests if you’re up for sharing. No pressure at all!”

19. Initiate a Meaningful Conversation

Story: Start with a topic that encourages thoughtful discussion.
When to use: When you want to engage them in a deeper conversation.
When not to use: If the topic might be too heavy for a first message.
Example: “I saw your post about environmental activism. What inspired you to get involved?”

20. Be Patient and Understanding

Story: Give them time to respond without rushing.
When to use: When you want to show patience and respect.
When not to use: If you’re expecting an immediate response.
Example: “Hi! I know you might be busy. Just wanted to drop a quick hello!”

21. Avoid Using Generic Pickup Lines

Story: Use personalized messages instead of clichés.
When to use: When you want to stand out with a unique approach.
When not to use: If you’re tempted to rely on common pickup lines.
Example: “Hi! I noticed we have a mutual love for traveling. Any favorite destinations you’d recommend?”

22. Show Genuine Interest in Their Thoughts

Story: Ask about their opinions or experiences.
When to use: When you want to engage them in a meaningful way.
When not to use: If you’re not genuinely interested in their thoughts.
Example: “I saw your post on minimalism. How has it changed your daily routine?”

23. Acknowledge Their Achievements

Story: Recognize their accomplishments or milestones.
When to use: When you want to make a positive impression.
When not to use: If you’re not familiar with their achievements.
Example: “Congratulations on your recent promotion! How’s the new role treating you?”

24. Be Confident, Not Overconfident

Story: Approach with self-assurance while being respectful.
When to use: When you want to convey confidence without arrogance.
When not to use: If your confidence comes off as too forward.
Example: “Hi! I’m really impressed by your recent project. I’d love to chat about it if you’re up for it.”

25. Make Your Message Relevant

Story: Tailor your message to something current or recent.
When to use: When you want to make the conversation timely.
When not to use: If your message is unrelated to their recent posts.
Example: “I saw your review of the new restaurant. I’ve been thinking of trying it. Was it as good as you said?”

26. Be Mindful of Tone

Story: Ensure your tone is friendly and respectful.
When to use: When you want to avoid misunderstandings.
When not to use: If your tone could be perceived as aggressive.
Example: “Hi! Your last post really resonated with me. I’d love to hear more about your perspective.”

27. Avoid Complaining or Venting

Story: Keep the conversation positive and engaging.
When to use: When you want to maintain a pleasant tone.
When not to use: If you’re tempted to use DMs for venting.
Example: “Hi there! I just wanted to say I really enjoyed your recent blog post. Any tips for someone starting out?”

28. Offer Something of Value

Story: Share something interesting or useful related to their interests.
When to use: When you want to add value to the conversation.
When not to use: If you’re not familiar with their interests.
Example: “I noticed you’re into photography. I recently came across a great editing tool that you might find useful!”

29. Be Polite and Respectful

Story: Always approach with kindness and consideration.
When to use: When you want to make a respectful first impression.
When not to use: If your approach might seem disrespectful.
Example: “Hello! I hope you’re having a good day. I really enjoyed your recent post about urban gardening.”

30. End with an Open Invitation

Story: Encourage further conversation without pressure.
When to use: When you want to leave the door open for more discussion.
When not to use: If you’ve received clear signals of disinterest.
Example: “Feel free to drop a message if you’d like to chat more about travel. I’d love to hear your recommendations!”