When someone replies with âso so,â it can often leave you unsure about their true feelings or level of interest.
I remember a time when a colleague’s âso soâ response to a project update left me puzzled. It was a reminder that sometimes, people use vague responses to signal their uncertainty or indifference.
To address this, I found that having a range of thoughtful and engaging replies can help you gauge their true feelings and keep the conversation moving.
Here are 30 responses to use when someone says âso so,â each designed to help you dig deeper or shift the conversation in a positive direction.
Understanding “So So” Responses
When someone uses the term âso so,â it can indicate a range of emotions from mild dissatisfaction to neutrality. This response might be a polite way to avoid expressing a strong opinion or it could be a genuine reflection of their feelings. By responding thoughtfully, you can uncover more about their feelings, address concerns, or move the conversation to a more engaging topic. Letâs explore 30 ways to respond effectively to âso so.â
1. “What would make it better for you?”
This response encourages them to share what they need to improve their experience. Iâve used this to get specific feedback and address issues directly.
When to use: When you want actionable feedback or to solve a problem.
When not to use: If theyâre not in a position to offer constructive criticism.
Example:
“What would make it better for you?”
2. “Can you tell me more about how youâre feeling?”
This opens up the conversation for them to express their thoughts in more detail. I use this to understand their feelings better.
When to use: When you need more context about their âso soâ response.
When not to use: If the person prefers to keep things brief.
Example:
“Can you tell me more about how youâre feeling?”
3. “What specifically did you find âso soâ about it?”
This question targets specific aspects that might be lacking. I use it when I want to pinpoint areas for improvement.
When to use: When you need detailed feedback.
When not to use: If the context is more general or casual.
Example:
“What specifically did you find âso soâ about it?”
4. “Are there any changes youâd suggest?”
Encourages constructive suggestions for improvement. Iâve found it useful in brainstorming sessions.
When to use: When youâre looking for improvement ideas.
When not to use: If the person isnât comfortable giving suggestions.
Example:
“Are there any changes youâd suggest?”
5. “Iâm sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help?”
Shows empathy and willingness to assist. Iâve used this to offer support and show concern.
When to use: When you want to provide help or support.
When not to use: If their âso soâ response doesnât require intervention.
Example:
“Iâm sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help?”
6. “What can I do to make it more enjoyable for you?”
This phrase focuses on improving their experience. I use it when aiming to enhance their satisfaction.
When to use: When you want to improve their overall experience.
When not to use: If youâre unable to make changes or offer enhancements.
Example:
“What can I do to make it more enjoyable for you?”
7. “Could you explain what would make it âgreatâ instead of âso soâ?”
This helps in setting a clearer goal for improvement. I use it to identify what âgreatâ looks like for them.
When to use: When aiming to understand their expectations.
When not to use: If their expectations are unclear or unrealistic.
Example:
“Could you explain what would make it âgreatâ instead of âso soâ?”
8. “Is there anything you were hoping for that wasnât met?”
Targets unmet expectations. I use this to identify and address gaps.
When to use: When you suspect unmet expectations are the issue.
When not to use: If their âso soâ response is unrelated to expectations.
Example:
“Is there anything you were hoping for that wasnât met?”
9. “How can we turn this around?”
This proactive approach focuses on solutions. I use it to shift the focus towards positive change.
When to use: When you want to actively resolve issues.
When not to use: If the situation doesnât allow for immediate changes.
Example:
“How can we turn this around?”
10. “What aspects did you like or dislike the most?”
Helps identify specific positives and negatives. Iâve used this to gather balanced feedback.
When to use: When you need to understand both strengths and weaknesses.
When not to use: If the feedback is intended to be more general.
Example:
“What aspects did you like or dislike the most?”
11. “Would you like to discuss it further?”
Invites them to elaborate if theyâre comfortable. I use this when I sense that more discussion could be beneficial.
When to use: When you want to give them the option to delve deeper.
When not to use: If theyâre not inclined to discuss further.
Example:
“Would you like to discuss it further?”
12. “Do you have any specific concerns I should be aware of?”
Focuses on identifying particular issues. I use this to address specific concerns directly.
When to use: When you need to address particular issues or concerns.
When not to use: If their response is general and not specific.
Example:
“Do you have any specific concerns I should be aware of?”
13. “What would make this experience more satisfying for you?”
Targets improving their overall satisfaction. I use this to find out what can be done better.
When to use: When aiming to enhance their satisfaction.
When not to use: If the feedback isnât about their satisfaction.
Example:
“What would make this experience more satisfying for you?”
14. “Are there any adjustments we can make to improve things?”
Seeks practical solutions for improvement. I use this to find actionable changes.
When to use: When youâre looking for practical solutions.
When not to use: If the context doesnât allow for adjustments.
Example:
“Are there any adjustments we can make to improve things?”
15. “Whatâs your ideal outcome for this situation?”
Helps understand their expectations for a successful result. I use this to align with their goals.
When to use: When you want to align efforts with their ideal outcome.
When not to use: If their expectations are not relevant.
Example:
“Whatâs your ideal outcome for this situation?”
16. “Can you share what would turn it from âso soâ to âfantasticâ?”
Focuses on defining a higher standard. I use this to set a clearer benchmark for success.
When to use: When aiming to achieve a higher standard.
When not to use: If their expectations are already high.
Example:
“Can you share what would turn it from âso soâ to âfantasticâ?”
17. “What would you need to feel more positive about this?”
Targets the need for a more positive outlook. I use this to find out what could improve their feelings.
When to use: When aiming to shift their perception to a more positive one.
When not to use: If their feelings are neutral rather than negative.
Example:
“What would you need to feel more positive about this?”
18. “Is there something specific that didnât meet your expectations?”
Pinpoints specific shortcomings. I use this to address particular areas of concern.
When to use: When you need detailed feedback on specific aspects.
When not to use: If their feedback is general or unclear.
Example:
“Is there something specific that didnât meet your expectations?”
19. “Whatâs one thing that could make this better for you?”
Focuses on finding a single improvement. I use this to identify the most impactful change.
When to use: When looking for a quick, impactful improvement.
When not to use: If multiple changes are needed.
Example:
“Whatâs one thing that could make this better for you?”
20. “What part of this did you find most disappointing?”
Targets negative aspects to address them. I use this to understand and improve specific disappointments.
When to use: When you need to address particular disappointments.
When not to use: If youâre looking for overall feedback rather than specifics.
Example:
“What part of this did you find most disappointing?”
21. “How does this compare to your expectations?”
Helps gauge how well the reality matches their expectations. I use this to understand the gap between expectations and reality.
When to use: When you want to compare outcomes with expectations.
When not to use: If expectations are unclear or irrelevant.
Example:
“How does this compare to your expectations?”
22. “Do you think thereâs a way we can improve this?”
Encourages brainstorming for improvements. I use this to foster collaboration on solutions.
When to use: When you want to involve them in finding solutions.
When not to use: If theyâre not interested in brainstorming.
Example:
“Do you think thereâs a way we can improve this?”
23. “What did you expect that wasnât delivered?”
Identifies unmet expectations to address them. I use this to pinpoint where expectations fell short.
When to use: When looking to address unmet expectations.
When not to use: If their expectations are unclear.
Example:
“What did you expect that wasnât delivered?”
24. “What could we have done differently to improve your experience?”
Seeks feedback on different approaches. I use this to explore alternative solutions.
When to use: When exploring different approaches to improve experience.
When not to use: If feedback on specific changes is needed.
Example:
“What could we have done differently to improve your experience?”
25. “What would you suggest as a next step?”
Asks for their recommendation on what to do next. I use this to get their input on the way forward.
When to use: When you need guidance on next steps.
When not to use: If youâre not ready to act on their suggestions.
Example:
“What would you suggest as a next step?”
26. “Do you have any other feedback for us?”
Invites additional feedback that might not have been covered. I use this to ensure all concerns are addressed.
When to use: When you want comprehensive feedback.
When not to use: If youâre not seeking further input.
Example:
“Do you have any other feedback for us?”
27. “What can we do to make you feel more positive about this?”
Focuses on enhancing their overall feeling. I use this to improve their perception.
When to use: When aiming to improve their overall sentiment.
When not to use: If their feelings are neutral rather than negative.
Example:
“What can we do to make you feel more positive about this?”
28. “Whatâs one thing youâd change to make it better?”
Targets a specific change for improvement. I use this to identify impactful changes.
When to use: When looking for a specific improvement.
When not to use: If multiple changes are needed.
Example:
“Whatâs one thing youâd change to make it better?”
29. “What could we add or adjust to improve your experience?”
Seeks ways to enhance their experience. I use this to find out what could make things better.
When to use: When looking for ways to enhance their experience.
When not to use: If no adjustments are possible.
Example:
“What could we add or adjust to improve your experience?”
30. “Do you have any suggestions for making this better?”
Encourages them to provide suggestions. I use this to involve them in the improvement process.
When to use: When seeking their input on improvements.
When not to use: If theyâre not interested in providing suggestions.
Example:
“Do you have any suggestions for making this better?”
Top 10 Editor Choice Responses
- “What would make it better for you?”
Encourages actionable feedback. - “Can you tell me more about how youâre feeling?”
Opens up for detailed discussion. - “What specifically did you find âso soâ about it?”
Targets specific aspects. - “Iâm sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help?”
Shows empathy and willingness. - “What can I do to make it more enjoyable for you?”
Focuses on improving experience. - “How can we turn this around?”
Proactive solution-oriented. - “What aspects did you like or dislike the most?”
Balanced feedback approach. - “Is there something specific that didnât meet your expectations?”
Pinpoints particular issues. - “Whatâs one thing that could make this better for you?”
Finds impactful changes. - “Do you have any other feedback for us?”
Ensures comprehensive feedback.
